In honor of Earth Day, a little something green.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
It's Gettin' Hot Out Here -- Happy HNT!
Spring is definitely here, and i got a bit warm working out in the garden. Thought i'd show off one of my "lingerie" favorites -- it lifts and separates and is custom made.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Impact
Who would have thought it! I certainly wouldn't have. I am still processing the "whys" and that it's okay. But i am glad to be open-minded and to be owned by such an amazing Man.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Quotes
I've been thinking about love and its many expressions.
"And... it's a great thing to get what you want. It's a really good thing unless what you thought you wanted wasn't really what you wanted... because what you really wanted you couldn't imagine or you didn't think it was possible but what if someone came along who knew exactly what you wanted without asking they just knew... like they could hear your heart beating or listen to your thoughts and what if they were sure of themselves and they didn't have to take a poll and they loved you... but you hesitated and I... uh... I have to go... I'm sorry but... I have to go!" ~ Kate in "Leopold & Kate"
"Sonny, true love is the greatest thing, in the world-except for a nice MLT - mutton, lettuce and tomato sandwich, where the mutton is nice and lean and the tomato is ripe...they're so perky, I love that." ~Miracle Max in "The Princess Bride"
"Beatrice: You have stayed me in a happy hour, I was about to protest I loved you.
Benedick: And do it, with all thy heart.
Beatrice: I love you with so much of my heart, that none is left to protest." ~ from "Much Ado About Nothing"
Discord
Today started off all right. Master and i had about 45 minutes of "alone time" before He had to leave for work. The first half of that was great. A lovely morning "quickie." And then, in my view, it went downhill.
It could have gotten ugly. With anyone else, it would have turned into one heck of an argument. Like most disruptions in the daily life of a couple, there wasn't anything huge. One comment upon leaving the bedroom and a comparison to something the "ex" used to do would have had me slinging back a comparable comment with anyone else. Then another complaint and another. True, i had completely forgotten to finish up laundry last night; i told Him to give me His jacket to have ready for today, and i forgot so it wasn't ready. But in my mind, i was thinking, "How often does this happen? Never!" Internally, i was having the conversation about how He hasn't been noticing any of the good things i've been doing, only complaining, mentally comparing some of His actions with "the ex," and complaining myself. Simultaneously, i knew that He was grumpy, that He has a lot on His mind and didn't want to come downstairs to no jacket (well, no dry jacket), morning kid damage, and all the work stuff that's been bugging Him. I know that when i am frustrated by outside things or am tired, every little thing becomes a huge annoyance. So, being the dutiful slave, and the woman who has learned from experience, i kept my mouth shut.
We had a subdued "goodbye." It's sad to say, but i was looking forward to His leaving for work. I honestly don't know if He realizes how grumpy He sounded and that the negatives have outweighed the positive comments lately. It's about a 10:1 ratio, if i remember correctly -- it takes 10 positives to overcome one negative.
However, my arguing back, trying to point out where i was right or how He misinterpreted things or defending what happened would have done neither of us any good. It's not about being right or wrong. Just because He is my Owner doesn't make Him automatically right. Just because i am His property doesn't make me incompetent or automatically wrong. Yes, He was grumpy. In 3 out of 5 things He has a legitimate right to be upset. Yes, my feelings got hurt. In 2 out of 5 things He did not have a legitimate complaint. But grumpiness and thin skin can make for a volatile situation.
I am not His doormat. He may not have known how upset and hurt i felt, but He did have an idea. I know that we will talk about it later. Once emotions have settled if there is a need to discuss, we will. One aspect of a D/s relationship that i appreciate is "discipline." When i make a mistake, i get disciplined. "Discipline" doesn't necessarily mean a spanking; although it's far different to receive a spanking as discipline than in play. It hurts far more than in play, but there is something about being swatted and then able to move on and not hang on to a wrongdoing. Discipline works for us. Whether or not i am disciplined for not following through on a promise i made (the jacket) is up to Him. Another aspect is honesty. I will have the opportunity to honestly tell Him how i was feeling and how i perceived His behavior. I have been processing how and why i felt the way i did this morning. I have to be honest with myself before i can be honest with Master. It can take me a long time to process, and He has learned to be patient.
We are not an island. For good or ill, our relationship is comprised of our experiences with others ("the exes," family, etc.). Our perceptions are colored by past experiences. Perhaps He really wasn't chiding me as much as i was feeling. However, having spent far too long in an emotionally abusive relationship, i am extremely sensitive to criticism. He knows this. Having spent time in a relationship with a "it doesn't matter/he'll buy another one" attitude has created His heightened alertness to disrespect. I know this.
Shortly after arriving at work, Master sent me a text reminding me that He loves me and cares about me. A molehill that could have become Everest remained a molehill. What is important is our relationship amidst life. "Happily ever after" takes one helluva lotta work. But it's worth it.
It could have gotten ugly. With anyone else, it would have turned into one heck of an argument. Like most disruptions in the daily life of a couple, there wasn't anything huge. One comment upon leaving the bedroom and a comparison to something the "ex" used to do would have had me slinging back a comparable comment with anyone else. Then another complaint and another. True, i had completely forgotten to finish up laundry last night; i told Him to give me His jacket to have ready for today, and i forgot so it wasn't ready. But in my mind, i was thinking, "How often does this happen? Never!" Internally, i was having the conversation about how He hasn't been noticing any of the good things i've been doing, only complaining, mentally comparing some of His actions with "the ex," and complaining myself. Simultaneously, i knew that He was grumpy, that He has a lot on His mind and didn't want to come downstairs to no jacket (well, no dry jacket), morning kid damage, and all the work stuff that's been bugging Him. I know that when i am frustrated by outside things or am tired, every little thing becomes a huge annoyance. So, being the dutiful slave, and the woman who has learned from experience, i kept my mouth shut.
We had a subdued "goodbye." It's sad to say, but i was looking forward to His leaving for work. I honestly don't know if He realizes how grumpy He sounded and that the negatives have outweighed the positive comments lately. It's about a 10:1 ratio, if i remember correctly -- it takes 10 positives to overcome one negative.
However, my arguing back, trying to point out where i was right or how He misinterpreted things or defending what happened would have done neither of us any good. It's not about being right or wrong. Just because He is my Owner doesn't make Him automatically right. Just because i am His property doesn't make me incompetent or automatically wrong. Yes, He was grumpy. In 3 out of 5 things He has a legitimate right to be upset. Yes, my feelings got hurt. In 2 out of 5 things He did not have a legitimate complaint. But grumpiness and thin skin can make for a volatile situation.
We are not an island. For good or ill, our relationship is comprised of our experiences with others ("the exes," family, etc.). Our perceptions are colored by past experiences. Perhaps He really wasn't chiding me as much as i was feeling. However, having spent far too long in an emotionally abusive relationship, i am extremely sensitive to criticism. He knows this. Having spent time in a relationship with a "it doesn't matter/he'll buy another one" attitude has created His heightened alertness to disrespect. I know this.
Shortly after arriving at work, Master sent me a text reminding me that He loves me and cares about me. A molehill that could have become Everest remained a molehill. What is important is our relationship amidst life. "Happily ever after" takes one helluva lotta work. But it's worth it.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Rainy Day HNT
April Showers. Just another Northwest spring day with lots of liquid sunshine.
Good thing i have my umbrella and rain boots!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Happy Birthday, Master!
Master's birthday was last month, and i wasn't sure what to give Him. He pretty much has everything He needs and He isn't a "I want that" kind of man. There are several toys, though, that i know He'd like to add to our adult toy box. Being a thrifty slave, i didn't want to pay the exorbitant prices in specialty shops or online. We have many toys, i have a fair amount of lingerie, but there are some missing items. We have also talked about some role playing scenes. In the past, we have had great fun with the classic "intruder," "school girl," etc., role plays. After research and much thought, i came up with "Fantasy Island." Six role play themes packaged separately. After checking the toy box and my lingerie drawers, i wrote down the needed items, looked online for who had the best prices/coupons, and then made my shopping list: fabric/craft store, two mall stores (the "novelty," "goth," etc. stores), two adult stores (20% off coupon!), and the dollar store.
I stuck to my list and refrained from getting a few items i would really, really liked to have had (like an incredibly gorgeous corset, on sale, too!).
Once home with supplies and armed with hot glue gun, tape measure and scissors, i went to work. Probably the best part was my sorting through the toy box while Master was reading in bed. He was completely oblivious to my actions. Yes, the toy box was messy, and He knew i was going to straighten it out, and i did -- but as i was pulling out items (the chain leash, rope, etc.) to be included in the fantasy box. He even looked over at me and talked to me without noticing.
Master enjoyed opening His gift -- a huge box with smaller boxes and gift bags inside. He enjoyed the bunny outfit and the captive woman in the closet. We have other adventures to look forward to throughout the coming months.
Bunny Costume: bunny ears; marabou boa; bunny cottontail made from white faux fur with marabou hot glued on to make it fuzzy and self-adhesive looped side velcro adhered to the back and able to attach to a butt plug with the fuzzy part of the velcro adhered to the end (supplies from fabric/craft store, not shown -- white lace choker); white knee-high tights and white lace fingerless gloves (from Hot Topic).
I stuck to my list and refrained from getting a few items i would really, really liked to have had (like an incredibly gorgeous corset, on sale, too!).
Once home with supplies and armed with hot glue gun, tape measure and scissors, i went to work. Probably the best part was my sorting through the toy box while Master was reading in bed. He was completely oblivious to my actions. Yes, the toy box was messy, and He knew i was going to straighten it out, and i did -- but as i was pulling out items (the chain leash, rope, etc.) to be included in the fantasy box. He even looked over at me and talked to me without noticing.
Master enjoyed opening His gift -- a huge box with smaller boxes and gift bags inside. He enjoyed the bunny outfit and the captive woman in the closet. We have other adventures to look forward to throughout the coming months.
Thursday, April 1, 2010
Happy HNT from a Happy Bunny
It's spring break here, and i thought it would be fun to give Master a little surprise. Here's me in my bunny costume -- well, most of it.
Happy HNT! Don't forget to visit Half-Nekkid Thursday.
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