Words

Words.  Powerful.  Permanent.  Once spoken, they linger. Once written, they survive past our lifetime.  The words used between two lovers, between partners, between superior/subservient, can bring joy or leave marks deeper than any physical gash.

One of the differences being in a Dominant/submissive (Master/slave) relationship rather than another type of couples relationship is how i use my words.

The word "no" or any of its cousins does not exist in my vocabulary with Master.  They were eliminated the day He put the collar around my neck, the day He claimed me as His property.  In reality, there is no need for me to use the word "no."  Sometimes, i may want to linger instead of getting up to perform a task or chore, and sometimes, according to Master, i get the look of "Do i really have to do this?"  I don't even consider needing this word; He will never have me do anything that would cause me to truly say, "No."  If we are in a scene and i am physically or emotionally beyond my limit, i have a "safe word" to use.  However, like many of the slaves/subs with whom i am familiar, this word has been used only on the rarest occasion.  Prior to Master, i would say, "no" just because i didn't want do to something or was in a contrary mood.  I did not always strive to speak respectfully, and i put myself first selfishly.  (Sometimes, it is important for me to put myself first to take care of myself because i'm caring for Master's property.)

With Master, the phrases and sentences i use in daily life are peppered with "please" and "thank you" and "may i."  I have caught myself rephrasing a text i am sending to Master -- instead of "Will You..." i have changed it to "It would please Your slave..."  Instead of telling Him what i want, i might say, "Would it please You if Your slave ...?"  By using these words, i have found myself changing the way that i think.  Placing Master as the Subject in a sentence and referring to myself in a passive voice, emphasizes our D/s relationship.  Even without my collar, without the flogger, the rope, the whip or nipple clamps, He is the Dominant and i am His submissive.

In turn, Master is careful with the words He chooses.  Being my Owner and being a Dominant does not preclude Him from polite speech.  Not everything is a direct command; He, too, uses "thank you" and "would you" with me.  By addressing me with the respect due to His property, He fosters a desire for me to do better.  By a gentle reprimand in a quiet voice, i strive to remember and correct myself.

I have enough life experiences to understand the effect words can have on a relationship.  Continually using words of respect and gratitude cultivates a mind and heart that respects and is grateful for a strong, loving and kind Master.  It becomes a beautiful cycle that increases my love and deepens my submission.

Another Use -- Happy HNT!

Yesterday while working from home, Master discovered yet another use for His slave's boobs.  The only disadvantage was that the left one kept pressing the "delete" key.


Check out today's Half-Nekkid Thursday !

Blow Job

I just finished reading Barefoot Dreamer's post on the art of giving a blow job. Barefoot Dreamer put it beautifully.  It's about listening and wanting.  Check out her post.

I love giving blow jobs; i've always enjoyed it.  When Master and i first became seriously involved, i promised Him that i would give Him a blow job every day we were together.  I don't know if He believed me at the time, but i was serious.

I love the feeling of Master's cock in my mouth.  I love the softness when He is flaccid.  I love the feeling of Him growing and expanding, semi-rigid.  I love the feeling of His rock hard filling my mouth and throat.  Although i gave my fair share of blowjobs before, i didn't really deep throat.  What was i missing!  I thought that gagging and getting watery-eyed and runny-nosed was embarrassing.  Not to mention drooling.  Now, i just lay a hand towel down on the bed and don't worry about it.  I love the feeling of Him pushing back against my throat, sliding down.

Master loves to face fuck me, too.  Grabbing my hair as He thrusts back and forth.  Very messy and very hot for me.  Most longer blow jobs have the face fuck component to them. (Sometimes i just suck Him before sex or get a little one in here and there.  Yes, i am His cock slut.)

Last week, He lay back and let me do my thing.  I put my blindfold on Him, dulled his hearing with His ear muff things (they look like big headphones He puts on when using noisy tools).  I dug around in the toy box, pulling out a flogger, a leather/wool paddle, a feather, a silk robe tie, my big vibrator, small purple vibrator, some lube that gets hot when you blow on it, and ran into the kitchen for some ice.  As i was preparing all of this, He just lay quietly on His back.  Quiet and patient. I put on a brocade corset, garter and stockings, my thick collar and cuffs, and high heeled shoes.  Everything ready, i removed Master's blindfold so He could get a look at His little slave girl before she went to work.  He smiled at me approvingly, and with a kiss, i put the blindfold back on Him.  I picked up the silk tie and led it down the length of His body, letting Him process what it was i was doing before moving on to another toy.

It was wonderful, tracing His body with the flogger, letting the soft leather drag across His chest, over His arms, caressing His face.  Trailing it down His chest and stomach, barely touching His cock, brushing His balls and down across His legs.  Following it with the soft wool of the paddle in the opposite direction and then turning the paddle so the leather stitching scraped across His skin and His tender parts.  Tickling Him with the feathers, using them to kiss His neck, forehead and lips.  And then the vibrators.  Massaging and stimulating.  All the while judging from the slight movements in His body, the way His cock moved, the sounds escaping His lips, and letting Him guide me in my choice of implements and movements according to what pleased Him.  After a while, i squirted the lube onto my hand and for the first time touched His cock, stroking and rubbing it while licking His balls and taking them into my mouth. Brushing my breasts across Him, straddling His leg so He could feel how hot i was.  Finally, i licked the base up the shaft to His head.  I sucked on Him, deep, slow, now fast and on the frenulum.  Deep, deeper, pushing Him down my throat.  I reached between my thighs, wetting my finger with the pussy juice that was now flowing, and touched it to His lips so He could feel how wet i was.  He took my finger into His mouth, sucking off the juice.

As i could feel Him getting more excited, on the verge of orgasm, i slowed down and varied what i was doing.  Building up the tension, slowing down, exploring other regions of His body and then increasing His arousal to near peak.  As i took Him down my throat, i could feel Him thrusting up, nearly at the point of cumming.  I sat back and quietly wrapped the silken tie around my wrists, binding them in front of me.  I slid the coverings off His ears and eyes and knelt before Him on the bed, waiting for Him to do whatever He wished.

What He wished was to fuck His slave girl hard, pulling out and cumming in my mouth as i held out my tongue to receive the stream.  He fucked me some more, giving me permission both to cum and to swallow His fluid and then He pulled out and came in my mouth again.  Pushing His cock back inside His slave girl's very wet pussy, He told me to come as He came again inside the pussy He owns.  As He lay on top of me, i moved the toys out of the way and slid His pillow down.  He rolled off a moment or two later, and we lay in each other's arms, spent, drifting off for a short nap.  And then we went to the kitchen for a bite to eat.

Touching my cheek, He laughed, "You have some spooge on the side of your mouth."

It's been three whole days since i've been able to give Him a blowjob.  He'll be back tomorrow, and as soon as He has settled back in, i'm going to have the pleasure and privilege of the subtle art of a blowjob.  Unless He wants to just shove His cock down my throat.  And that is more than okay with me.

(You can read Barefoot Dreamer's post at http://dreamingbearfoot.blogspot.com/2010/03/art-of-blow-job.html)

Technology

Master has given me the job to work on these blogs. While i am not technologically stupid and have another blog, this is giving me quite the challenge! Unfortunately, i am spending more time trying to figure out how to get these two blogs working than creating content.

HELP!

Happy Post-St. Paddy's Day HNT!

Hope you had as good a day as we did.

Reflecting on Steak & a Blowjob Day, March 14

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Weekend

New Rule: "You may give yourself pleasure when I'm out of town. You need to send me a picture."

This weekend has been a good weekend. Master left for an out of town trip early Saturday morning. We spent a good evening together, not really doing anything but catching up on a couple of recorded shows. Just being close to Him felt good. I know that for us, sex is an important component to our relationship. It isn't just about "getting off," but it continually brings us closer together. It's a renewal of commitment. In my HNT post, i jokingly referred to "boring same old being tied up and gagged" sex. Routine can become boring, i think. Sometimes it's good to switch things around even though the emotional connection that occurs for me when we are intimate never is boring. We do tend to have a routine for the daily sex. Well, around here we have sex multiple times during a day because we both have very high sex drives and it's, well, important. Maybe it's a quick fondle here or there, or my kneeling and worshipping His cock for a moment or two. But we do have a routine: before bed and before getting up and usually something slipped in between then. Usually it starts with my sucking on Him and progresses to a standard repertoire of positions and actions. No complaints; that's what we enjoy, which is why it's like this.


Perhaps what made things better Friday night was that we had an off Thursday night and Friday morning. Master didn't have to work Thursday, and we had the entire morning to ourselves. After quite a bit of fun having me frolic around as His little puppy, i headed to bed with unmentioned expectations Thursday night. Sex fizzled into rolling over and going to sleep (next to Him). I think the cause was a lack of communication. Master tried something He doesn't often do, something which i have very much enjoyed in the past but haven't known how to process in the context of our M/s relationship. I was feeling selfish and worrying that He was not really getting pleasure from it. That in turn led to a decreased response on my part and His frustration by it. I had to process in my little brain why i was having such a reaction. After a discussion and sleep and a day without any sexual play, my mind and body came to an agreement.


Master is always dominant, the Top, in our sexual lives. It doesn't matter what He does or what He asks me to do, He is the top. When i am riding Him, He is still dominant. When He is focusing on pleasuring this body, He is still "topping." When He asks me to choose what to do, He is still in charge. Master enjoys a slave who is a thinking slave, one who learns His preferences and can act without His having to command her all the time. He continually tells me what a strong woman i am. Remembering all of this, i decided to offer up some suggestions Friday night. And so while He was in the bathroom getting ready for bed, i was in the bedroom putting on my cuffs and attaching my ankles to the spreader bar. I also chose a butt plug from the toy box and the leather paddle. We didn't end up having super kinky sex, we didn't have a fuck fest, but we got back in sync.


He didn't leave me a list of things to do while He's gone. He entrusts the care of our home to me. I have been a busy little beaver getting to several projects that just kept being pushed back. I have been indulging the "service slave" part of me. This is part of my submission to Him. He is perfectly capable of taking care of Himself, but He allows me to serve and give to Him. My skills, talents, mind, and opinions are highly valued by Master. However, He is still the Dominant. There will always be rough spots and bad days, but with work they can bring us closer and strengthen our relationship and ourselves.

HNT -- Playing Ball

After a week of  being in a rut of the same kind of sex, we had a little different kind of play this afternoon.  I wanted to get a picture of "puppy" playing fetch with Master, but we didn't get around to it.  Instead, here's a picture of me with a different kind of playing ball taken a few days ago. Same old boring tie me up and gag me sex we've been having lately.

Instructions

Master is out of town tonight.  He texted me instructions, though:

 "Blog and internet stuff. I want a video of you playing with yourself with big vibe and fucking yourself with the purple vibe while you watch a video of the 2 of us fucking, whipping and cumming."

A while ago i read an interesting blog about the definition of porn (from floozy.ca, "Slave Musings).  Prior to my relationship with Master, i felt very shy about viewing porn let alone filming explicit scenes involving me.  Master, however, has brought out His slave's voyeuristic side.  (Along with the cock whore He says has been inside all along, but that is another entry.)  A few weeks ago, He subscribed to a website because i found it intriguing.  We have watched and participated via chat in a few live events.  This afternoon, as i was cleaning the bedroom, i watched a live feed of a "House slave" cleaning the guest room as members of the site chatted and asked questions. As i read the blog entries from other submissive/slaves, i feel that sense of voyeurism as well as a connection.  Sometimes i see images or read of situations that resonate with me.  I find them intriguing as well as learning experiences.  Most often i do not find it titillating.

What arouses me most, however, is to watch my own Master interact with His personal property -- me.  Viewing a scene gives me a completely different perspective.  Sometimes it is quite surprising to see Him using the flogger or cane on my backside.  When in the moment, i am often in another space ("subspace"); to hear the cracking sounds, to see the marks appearing, to see His body and to watch how i react is sometimes astonishing to me.

Intellectually, i am interested to later watch along with Master me watching me interact with Master.  Since He is usually in control of the whole video aspect, it should be interesting to see how i can manage the technical parts as well.  I must admit, too, that the whole idea of filming myself makes me feel shy.  I have a suspicion that this is one reason Master has given me these instructions.  It's not only for His late-night-away-from-His-slave's viewing pleasure (did i mention i need to take a short video clip while i'm filming so i can send it to Him tonight?).  It's to challenge me.

His instructions usually are.

So now it's "lights, camera" ... click "publish post." Action!

Friday Fantasy: Blossoms and Ballgag, An Original Erotic Short Story

Sunlight streamed through the slats in the blinds. The breeze fluttered through the branches of the budding cherry tree, sending a small pink shower of blossoms to the still damp grass.

She, however, saw none of this. Noticed none of the signs of an early spring. She felt only the cords tightening around her wrists, securely binding them together. Was only aware of the softness of the flannel against her bare skin and the familiarity of her leather cuffs as her legs strained against the rope that kept her tied to the bedposts. She wrinkled her nose against the blindfold to relieve the tingly itch she could not scratch, out of habit licking the divot in the smooth ball that gagged her mouth. She felt the bed move slightly, anticipation increasing her pulse. Before she felt the warmth of His flesh, she caught His scent. She raised her head toward Him, breathing deeply. The leather softly scraped her cheek as He removed the gag.  Extending her tongue she felt Him.  Finally.  Took Him into her mouth. He was nearly flaccid, allowing her to feel the delightful softness, the pliable member as she kneaded and caressed Him with her tongue and lips. As she drew Him into her mouth, she felt Him enlarge, expanding against her throat, pushing against the insides of her cheeks. She held Him there, letting Him grow, letting Him fill her, using her tongue to caress the sensitive skin below the head. Savoring Him. Salivating with desire, mouth too full to swallow, saliva dripped down of the side of her mouth, down her cheek to the sheets. Gently, firmly, forcefully, He held her head in between His hands, thrusting slowly in and out of her mouth, pushing further down her throat. The "magic wand" between her bound hands buzzed between her legs, and she realized she was moving her hips to His rhythmic thrusting. And then He was gone. Her mouth was empty. She heard His stroking, the wetness from her mouth providing Him lubricant and her sound. Faster and faster; she recognized the pace. The bed shook with His movements. The wand vibrated, slipping in the moisture that always gushed forth when she was allowed to suck Him.   He pushed Himself between her lips, and she opened her throat to receive His entire girth and length.  Opened to receive His thrusts.  Then, once more, her mouth was empty. She kept it open, waiting. Anticipating.  A drop fell onto her tongue. She heard His breathing, more intense, felt His hand gripping her breast, the other guiding Himself between her waiting lips. He filled her mouth, shuddering in fulfillment.  Her body trembling, she held her mouth open, cupping His fluid with her tongue.  Showing Him the creamy liquid.  She felt His body lower next to hers, His breath against her ear as He whispered those words that would push her over the edge as she maneuvered the wand. She climaxed, swallowing every drop. Permission granted, she climaxed again, her mouth and throat still tingling from His presence.

The soft cords loosed, the wand turned off and removed, He slowly pulled the blindfold from her eyes.  She blinked and squinted in the sunlight, smiling in contentment.

But even now the spring-like afternoon remained unnoticed, for she closed her eyes as He pulled her close to Him and they drifted into sleep.

Happy HNT!