New Rule: "You may give yourself pleasure when I'm out of town. You need to send me a picture."
This weekend has been a good weekend. Master left for an out of town trip early Saturday morning. We spent a good evening together, not really doing anything but catching up on a couple of recorded shows. Just being close to Him felt good. I know that for us, sex is an important component to our relationship. It isn't just about "getting off," but it continually brings us closer together. It's a renewal of commitment. In my HNT post, i jokingly referred to "boring same old being tied up and gagged" sex. Routine can become boring, i think. Sometimes it's good to switch things around even though the emotional connection that occurs for me when we are intimate never is boring. We do tend to have a routine for the daily sex. Well, around here we have sex multiple times during a day because we both have very high sex drives and it's, well, important. Maybe it's a quick fondle here or there, or my kneeling and worshipping His cock for a moment or two. But we do have a routine: before bed and before getting up and usually something slipped in between then. Usually it starts with my sucking on Him and progresses to a standard repertoire of positions and actions. No complaints; that's what we enjoy, which is why it's like this.
Perhaps what made things better Friday night was that we had an off Thursday night and Friday morning. Master didn't have to work Thursday, and we had the entire morning to ourselves. After quite a bit of fun having me frolic around as His little puppy, i headed to bed with unmentioned expectations Thursday night. Sex fizzled into rolling over and going to sleep (next to Him). I think the cause was a lack of communication. Master tried something He doesn't often do, something which i have very much enjoyed in the past but haven't known how to process in the context of our M/s relationship. I was feeling selfish and worrying that He was not really getting pleasure from it. That in turn led to a decreased response on my part and His frustration by it. I had to process in my little brain why i was having such a reaction. After a discussion and sleep and a day without any sexual play, my mind and body came to an agreement.
Master is always dominant, the Top, in our sexual lives. It doesn't matter what He does or what He asks me to do, He is the top. When i am riding Him, He is still dominant. When He is focusing on pleasuring this body, He is still "topping." When He asks me to choose what to do, He is still in charge. Master enjoys a slave who is a thinking slave, one who learns His preferences and can act without His having to command her all the time. He continually tells me what a strong woman i am. Remembering all of this, i decided to offer up some suggestions Friday night. And so while He was in the bathroom getting ready for bed, i was in the bedroom putting on my cuffs and attaching my ankles to the spreader bar. I also chose a butt plug from the toy box and the leather paddle. We didn't end up having super kinky sex, we didn't have a fuck fest, but we got back in sync.
He didn't leave me a list of things to do while He's gone. He entrusts the care of our home to me. I have been a busy little beaver getting to several projects that just kept being pushed back. I have been indulging the "service slave" part of me. This is part of my submission to Him. He is perfectly capable of taking care of Himself, but He allows me to serve and give to Him. My skills, talents, mind, and opinions are highly valued by Master. However, He is still the Dominant. There will always be rough spots and bad days, but with work they can bring us closer and strengthen our relationship and ourselves.